Monday, June 18, 2007

People are...

...asking me about my rage at ICICI bank on Friday. I should document it. It's just some ranting, so if you have less time, skip this.


I hate ICICI Bank. Hence, I avoid them like the plague. I go to lengths to not have anything to do with them. Once they offered me 10 lakhs for just hearing a sales pitch, but I refused. Ok, it didn't happen, but it could.

Why? Because they suck. They make you wait to give the same things another bank will not make you wait for. Like to use an ATM machine. They also treat personal information like it's on a billboard at the corner of CMH Road. Once, in a moment of weakness (#1), I agreed for their credit card. Weeks later, after having signed multiple forms and such, I realised that everyone from their direct sales agency (not even employees of the bank) had more personal information about me than I have. And it's all over the place. I looked in his notebook and learnt many things about many people! I quickly made him scratch that out, tore all the forms, and asked them to cancel the request.

Anyhow, so I've gone two years with an account without having to do anything with them. I've never even opened the envelope which the debit card came in. Yes, I don't know the pin number either. Since my salary account has to be with them, I take the risk of logging on late on every 30th and electronically transfer the money to another bank account. And not have to worry about doing anything with them for another whole month.

And then, they go and introduce a "new grid based debit card". It's a super-lame security measure which ensures that only a customer who has the debit card can transact on the net - which is similar to their earlier security measure which ensured that only a customer who has the debit card can transact on the net. Go figure.

They call and ask me where I want it delivered. I tell them to do so at my office, since most document deliverers don't work later. They, in their infinite customer orientation deliver home, find me not there, and ask me to go the bank to collect it. I end up being forced to go to the bank.

After avoiding that for an entire month, I have a moment of weakness (#2) while walking past the branch. So I go in, and wow, there's a machine thingie which issues a token number - I get my token, relieved that I'll not have to deal with shoving-pushing-line-cutting. And then I wait a couple of eons even though there are only 4 people ahead of me. Since of the 8 counters available, only one is operational. And on a full working day, early in the afternoon. I do my thing when I finally get to the counter, I'm told to wait, even though the card is at her desk in only half hour more. Since it has to be dispensed by another person only, who comes in another half hour late. I get my thing.

Then, I decide to write a complaint. I go up to the Branch Manager and ask for the complaint book, which she takes an entire 10 minutes to dig up. After writing the story, I take a look at the other pages, and it looks like they don't use empty pages for the bank copies. So everyone overwrites on the same page - which makes all the complaints easier to handle, by having to crumple only one page and throw away.

There it is, three and half hours wasted of my entire workday. So avoidable. The bank goes out of their way to ensure I come into contact with their uber-pathetic customer service. I was getting by before. So why don't I just close the account? Because I'm scared of having to deal with them face-to-face again this year. Maybe next year.

Cartoon from Speedbump by Dave Coverly.



K said...

**Shakes head** And I have to live with them - they own six floors in the building we work. Burn them I say.

Vinny said...

So true .... they are like a disease with no cure ..

Taryn said...

Thanks for writing this.